


If I Blow You With A Bang

by kagseyamas



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Action/Adventure, Bonnie and Clyde-esque, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, M/M, Murder Couple Daisuga, Robbery, Yakuza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-25 14:45:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6199132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kagseyamas/pseuds/kagseyamas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daichi and Koushi are the living definition of boring suburban couple. They're 28 with no kids, no sex life, and no passion for each other anymore. </p><p>But when Daichi accidently kills an intruder in their home, Koushi reveals a secret about his past, and they're forced to run from their old white-picket-fence life.</p><p>AKA the one where a series of crimes rekindles the flame in a loveless marriage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Blow You With A Bang

**Author's Note:**

> just wanted to point out before anyone says anything that i know gay marriage isnt legal in japan. on paper, suga and daichi are not actually legally married, but they had the ceremony and wear the rings, so thats all that counts to them
> 
> also, im incredibly exhausted rn so this isnt edited properly. tomorrow, my loves.
> 
> seeweedbrain.tumblr.com

When Daichi emerged from their en suite bathroom, scratching at his chin from where the stubble was beginning to grow back, Koushi barely glanced up from the book he was reading. As far as Daichi could tell, it was one of those lovey-dovey romance novels he didn't care for, but were Koushi's favourites. Lifting up the satin covers of their king-sized bed, he hopped in beside his husband, making the bed creak. The lamp on Daichi's side was on, but he couldn't sleep like that, so as he lay down he reached his arm over to flick the switch off.

"Can you leave it on?" Koushi said absently, now gracing Daichi with the gift of eye contact. Finally.

"Well dear, I can't sleep with the light on in my face, can I?" he replied, perhaps a little more bitterly that originally intended. This whole routine was just becoming slightly irritating.

Koushi stared him down for a moment, before sighing and then flicking the light on over at his side of the bed. Daichi took this as permission to turn his own off, and shuffled himself into position, lying facing away from his husband.

"Goodnight," Koushi said quietly, voice somewhat colder than when they first started dating, and Daichi grunted a "night" back, before the room fell silent again.

God, it wasn't always like this. There was a time when both of them were happy, and in passionate, ignorant love. When they first married, Daichi had never thought they would end up like this; 28 years old and married with no kids, but instead a large pristine home in the suburbs that felt as empty as they both did themselves. They both worked long hours, and when they got home they were usually too tired and drained to cuddle up on the couch like some young couple. Definitely too tired for sex. Maybe he would have predicted this by the time he hit his 60s, but certainly not this early.

They didn't sleep entangled anymore. Not even with their backs touching as they lay facing away from each other. Daichi couldn't remember the last time they had said 'I love you' to each other. He didn't think it was their fault, though. Life had caught up with them. They had no time anymore to lie in 'til noon and cuddle, or watch old movies while getting drunk on wine, or have sex on the kitchen floor because they couldn't wait until they got to the bedroom.

No, this was their life now. Passive aggressive comments passed back and forth, just like his own parents had done.

Exhausted from his day at work (and a little tipsy from chugging from the flask of whiskey he kept in the glove compartment of his car, just before he entered the house) it didn't take him too long to fall asleep.

 

 

Daichi was awoken by a rough shake on the shoulder.

"—chi? Daichi?" Koushi's voice in a harsh whisper practically dragged him to consciousness, and he just about managed to pry his eyes open, a blurry vision of Koushi looming over him coming to focus.

"Mhm..." he mumbled, closing his eyes again. It couldn't have been too late into the morning, because it was still dark in their room. Koushi sighed harshly and whacked him on the chest with his backhand.

"Sawamura Daichi don't you ignore me. I think there's someone in the house."

This caught his attention. He opened his eyes again and propped himself up on his elbows, squinting blearily at his rather alarmed-looking husband.

"What do you mean?"

Koushi opened his mouth to speak, but he was cut off by a large crash downstairs, followed by a muffled curse. Koushi raised a hand and clapped it over his mouth in shock, and they both turned to each other, unsure what to do.

"Should we call the police?" Koushi whispered, voice wavering slightly.

Daichi almost considered it, too. "We can't be sure it's dangerous, yet. In fact, I bet that's just Tanaka, drunk off his ass and confused about what house he's in. This is a safe neighbourhood, after all. I'll just go investigate." Flinging the sheets back, he swung his legs out of bed. The alarm read 03:45.

"Okay..." Koushi said wearily. "Take the baseball bat, just in case."

Daichi nodded quickly, grabbing the baseball bat from under the bed. He'd never had to use it before, but there was a first time for everything, right? Luckily, the floor was carpeted from the room all the way to the bottom of the stairs, so he didn't have to make that much of an effort to tread quietly. Despite his brave words to Koushi, he was actually quite terrified. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest and he was breaking out into a cold sweat with every step he took.

As he reached the bottom of the stairs, it was quite clear that there was indeed someone else in the house. The noise was coming from the kitchen, and the intruder sounded like they were rummaging around in the fridge. Perhaps it was just Tanaka on one of his late-night snack sessions, after all.

"Hello? Who's there?" he called, and the noise stopped abruptly. Daichi knew immediately that he had made the wrong decision. It wasn't like he had taken _What To Do When You're Being Burgled 101_ or anything.

He almost jumped out of his skin when a dark figure emerged from the kitchen. They seemed quite determined already, dressed in black from head to toe and a mask over their face, as they held a gun in his direction.

"Drop the bat, or I won't hesitate to shoot you in the fucking head." His voice was deep and gruff, and Daichi's stomach dropped along with the bat from his hand.

He held two hands up in the air in surrender, knees beginning to shake as the intruder approached him rapidly, pressing the gun to his forehead.

"Hey hey woah woah woah, take it easy okay?" Daichi tried to reason, earning himself a shove backwards by the forehead with the gun.

" _Shut the fuck up and let me think_." The man seemed to be panicking slightly, as though he didn't plan to wake them up in the first place.

The man raised his hand and seemed to rub it over his face under the mask, pinching the bridge of his nose. He shut his eyes for a brief moment, and that was when Daichi decided to not be held at gunpoint anymore. With one hand he knocked the gun from in front of him, sending it flying across the room. They both stalled for a moment before making a run for it, and Daichi picked the bat up again, flinging it at his would-be-shooter, attempting to throw him off. The other man stumbled back slightly and Daichi took the opportunity to dive forward and land on the gun.

It seemed that their positions were reversed, then, as he spun on the floor to face the man, gun raised in a threat. Daichi glanced down and realised that the safety was off. So he wasn't bluffing then. He felt sick to his stomach and his heart was hammering in his chest when the intruder raised his hands in surrender.

"What the hell do you want with us?" Daichi said through gritted teeth, finger threateningly on the trigger. He had never used a gun before either, but tonight promised to be a night of firsts. Standing to his feet while keeping an eye trained on the man, the room was silent as he was denied an answer.

" _Answer me—_ " he yelled in exasperation, just as the man made a lunge at him, and then it happened.

Daichi had never learned to control his own reflexes. He worked in an office; the only thing he needed to know how to control was a fax machine. So when the man leapt at him, his finger twitched on the trigger and then the only thing that resounded throughout the house was a loud gunshot. Followed by silence.

The gun dropped from Daichi's hand as he staggered backwards, staring numbly at the man on the floor before him. The bullet had pierced straight through his head, splattering blood and brains and god knows what else all over the oak flooring and himself. Then, footsteps thundered down the stairs.

"Daichi? I heard—" Koushi's shrill voice came to an abrupt stop as did he at the end of the stairs, glancing from the body, to the gun on the floor, to Daichi himself.

"What did you do?" His voice was almost a whisper, and Daichi could only shake his head violently, hands beginning to quiver.

"I don't— I— I don't know, it was an accident, I— _shit_ , Koushi, shit what have I done fuck _fuck_ —"

"Daichi!" Koushi snapped, quickly closing the distance between them so that they were both standing next to each other, observing the body. "You know how I feel about that kind of language."

Daichi had to process what he'd heard for a moment, and he stared at Koushi in disbelief. "That kind of language— _Koushi I just murdered someone!"_

"I can clearly see that, dear," Koushi deadpanned, but it was bordering exasperation. He ran a hand over his face and and exhaled before turning to face Daichi. "Okay. Go get the bleach from under the sink. No one is going to find out about this."

Daichi's eyes were steadily filling with tears. He needed to throw up. "Are you saying we cover this up?"

"Are you saying you were considering going to the police? Daichi you wouldn't last a day in prison." Koushi's eyes were wide and concern, although Daichi suspected it was for the wrong reasons.

"Look," Koushi sighed, "I know you would never do this on purpose. This is me trying to protect you from your impending murder trial. So go get the bleach before I go back to bed and let you sort this out yourself."

Daichi stared at his husband for a moment, before complying. This wasn't the Koushi he knew at all. His Koushi was sweet and cheeky and used to read out the jokes on all of his candy wrappers before throwing them away. His Koushi wouldn't be so calm in the face of murder. Then again, Koushi probably thought that his Daichi wouldn't commit murder in the first place, so perhaps they were even. When he returned with the bottle of bleach, the body had been rolled up neatly in their cream carpet, the one they'd had since they moved in a few years ago. Koushi had always loved that carpet.

His husband was resting against the dining table, cradling his face in his hands, and Daichi sort of felt that way too. He made his way over and set the bleach down on front of him, making him jump.

"Good," Koushi said taking it from him. "Now give me your clothes."

"Huh?" Daichi was a little dumbfounded.

"Your clothes, Daichi. I need to burn them. And go take a shower, there are guts all over your face. I'll take care of the stains on the floor."

"Oh right." Surprisingly, he felt slightly shy undressing all the way in front of Koushi. It was strange, because the other man could probably recite every mole and scar and mark on his body without even looking, and yet Daichi felt as though this was the first time Koushi was seeing him naked. Maybe it had been too long.

Daichi got into the shower, and then he cried. As he scrubbed at his face, trying to rid himself of the awful sickly feeling on his skin, empty sobs racked his body, forcing him to brace himself against the shower wall. He wasn't sure how many tears fell, because they mingled with the spray of the water, washing down the drain and never to be seen again.

"Bokuto listen to me." Koushi's voice echoed through the house when he stepped out of the bathroom, dripping wet but not feeling any cleaner. "Don't forget that you owe me. Do this one thing for me and you'll be free of a favour."

Daichi strained his ear to listen as Koushi stopped talking, apparently listening to someone talk on the other end of the phone.

Koushi sighed. "I'll tell Akaashi what you did in Miyagi." Whoever Bokuto was, they didn't seem to like that. "Okay. I appreciate it," Koushi said, before hanging up.

"Who's Bokuto?" Daichi asked from the top of the stairs, making Koushi jump and drop the phone from his hands.

Upon descending the stairs further, he noticed that it wasn't even Koushi's phone, but rather a cheap, plastic-looking phone.

"Don't sneak up on me like that while there is a dead body rolled up in our rug," Koushi scolded, narrowly avoiding the question.

"Koushi," Daichi said firmly, and his husband sighed.

"He's just an old friend from college."

"And now is an appropriate time to call him? What if the police track your phone calls and see that you were up at this time, oh my g—"

"Relax, it's a burner cell." Koushi said nonchalantly, as if Daichi knew what that was. "It's disposable. They won't track it."

Daichi was growing more and more exasperated. "Why do you just have these things lying around in our home? What are you keeping from me?"

Suga winced, and then sighed, scratching the back of his neck.

"Daichi, listen. There are some... _things_ from my past you don't know about."

Daichi felt a twist of pain in his gut. Koushi knew everything about his past.

"Like?"

Koushi gulped, looking a bit ill.

"When I was in college in Tokyo, I made some...um...dodgy friends."

"Dodgy?"

"Yakuza friends."

" _What?_ "

"I-I mean it's not like I did anything _too bad_ , but I saw a lot of stuff like this, which is why I wasn't that fazed—even if it was you—and some of those guys still owe me one which is why I can help make this all go away!"

Daichi felt like crying all over again.

"...I can't believe you would keep something like that from me. Koushi they're criminals—"

"So are you!" his husband snapped, but when he noticed Daichi trembling, he backtracked. "Crap, I'm sorry, that was harsh. Look I kept it from you for your own benefit. So you wouldn't have to get caught up in that life. Also...I was ashamed of a lot of it."

Daichi was silent, trying to hold back tears again. He was tired, he was angry, and now he was a murderer, of all things. He had yet to remove the man's mask, but he didn't want to. Once he saw his face that would make him a real person; that would give him a life and a family and thoughts and dreams, and Daichi would have taken all of that from him. And Koushi rubbing that in his face really wasn't helping. Koushi sighed.

"Look—just pack a bag—essentials only. If anyone comes looking in our house we don't wanna make it obvious that we just up and left."

Daichi blanched. "Wait where are we going?"

"Tokyo," Koushi said, with a spark in his eyes that Daichi hadn't seen in a while. "My old pals are gonna take care of this."

 

As Koushi packed the body into the trunk after they'd cleaned up all of the evidence, Daichi sat in the backseat, huddled in blankets to stop himself from shivering uncontrollably. It wasn't working. When Koushi sat in the front seat he glanced back at Daichi and actually had the nerve to _chuckle_ at him.

"I can't believe you're laughing at a time like this," Daichi hissed, infuriated.

"Oh don't be so melodramatic." Koushi shook his head, turning around to face the road as they pulled out of the driveway. "Just take a nap and I'll wake you when we get there."

Daichi begrudgingly lay down in the back seat. As much as as he felt like he should be staying awake, he was exhausted and his eyes were already drooping shut with the motor of the car lulling him to sleep.

As soon as his eyes closed, he was jolting awake again. He knew some time had passed because they weren't in the neighbourhood anymore; instead, the car was stopped and they were surrounded by what might as well have been a desert. It was also starting to get light out again, he noted. Then, he noticed that Koushi wasn't in the car, and sat upright, panic rising in his throat—before he saw the hood of the car opened. Daichi was already sweating in the bundle of blankets and freed himself, opening the car door. Koushi was bent over the hood, peering into the smoking engine. He looked up exasperatedly at Daichi upon his arrival.

"Engine's busted." He sounded resigned, but there was a little smear of oil on his cheek which Daichi couldn't help but think was cute. _Not the time, dude._

"What do we do?" he said, stomach sinking. Fate was seriously against them, wasn't it?

"I think theres a gas station about a mile up ahead. I say we bury the regd. plates and any other personal items from the glove box here, and push this baby to civilisation."

Daichi frowned. "I agree with the second part, but why would be bury all our stuff?"

"So that when we ditch the car they won't be able to trace it back to us."

" _Ditch the car?_ " Daichi spluttered. "That thing was expensive! And how are we gonna get to Tokyo?"

Koushi narrowed his eyes. "Oh yeah you're right, my bad. Let's just call a cab instead. Hey, do you think they'll charge us _extra_ to keep a dead body in the trunk or...?

"Alright fine, have it your way, but that doesn't answer my question! How are we gonna get to Tokyo?"

"Leave that part to me." Daichi could have sworn that Koushi's eyes were twinkling.

"You're enjoying this aren't you? How are you enjoying this?"

Koushi gave a playful smile. "Oh come on, Dai. It's a little exciting isn't it? We're like Bonnie and Clyde, on the run after committing a crime—"

"Yeah, except this isn't some movie, Koushi. I'm a murderer and you're an accessory and if— _when_ we get caught, we're gonna spend our lives in prison."

Koushi smirked and leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek. "We're not gonna get caught, darling."

 

After burying everything they didn't need deep within the desert ground, a good distance away from where the car had stopped, they pushed the broken-down car all the way to a dingy gas station. It looked at least 30 years old, and it was about 5:30 am at this point, so Daichi expected it to be completely empty, but to his surprise there were one or two cars parked by the gas machines.

Koushi explained the plan to him.

"I'm going to hot-wire one of the cars. I want you to go into that shop and create a scene so that everyone's attention is on you and not out here. As soon as you here the engine start up run out to me and hop in. I'll be four minutes, tops. Remember, we have to do this right or else we'll fail miserably, so be careful."

Daichi's eyes went wide. "Koushi you want us to steal someone's car? Well sure! Do you also want to kidnap a small child while we're at it? Let's just keep adding to our pile of crimes!"

Koushi scowled. "Hey now. Under any other circumstance I wouldn't, but what other choice to we have! Besides. I wanna see if I still got it."

Daichi gawked. "You've done this before?"

"Quick Daichi." Koushi tapped him rapidly to move his attention away from the subject. "Do it quickly before anyone comes out here."

Daichi gulped and hopped out of the car, glancing around nervously to make sure thst the coast was clear. The door of the shop opened with the ding of a little bell, and the inside was just as grungy as the out. At the cash register saw a board-looking teenage boy, staring down at his phone, and browsing the isle was a burly biker-esque guy, complete with a bandana and a dodgy beard. The owners of the two cars, he guessed. Boy, he really hoped that Koushi chose the young boy's one to steal.

He quickly tried to analyse the situation and come up with a scenario where he didn't get pummelled to a pulp or arrested. If he chose to distract the boy, the biker guy could look out and see his car being stolen, and they were screwed. If He distracted the biker and the boy saw Koushi stealing a car, he could very easily call the cops and the cops would find the body in the trunk and they'd both go to jail.

He quickly made up his mind.

He casually strolled down the isle where the large man seemed to be browsing different brands of refuse sacks, and the knocked roughly into his shoulder. Without apologising he continued to move by him.

"Hey, watch where you’re going," the biker said, turning to face him. Over his shoulder, Daichi could see the kid at the till perk up in curiosity, watching the scene.

"Sorry," Daichi swallowed down his nerves. "I mistook you for one of the displays. You're so fat you could have been a stationary shelf."

Okay so not his best work, but it was the most he could come with on the spot. Clearly it did the job, because the man seethed with anger, grabbing Daichi by the collar.

"What did you say,  _midget?_ "

Daichi attempted desperately not to shrink into his own shoes at the words. He managed a cocky laugh.

"Are you deaf as well as fat? I _said_ —"

That was the most he managed before the man raised a fist and punched him clean in the mouth.

 _Wow_ , Daichi thought, as the metallic taste of blood filled his mouth, _get punched fucking **hurt**_.

He swallowed the blood down, knowing not to leave any obvious DNA behind. The boy at the counter rushed over to them yelling "Hey hey hey! Break it up you two or I'll call the cops!"

Then, as if Koushi knew was situation he was in, he heard the rev of an engine from outside.

"No thanks," Daichi grinned, before ducking out of the mans grip and sprinting for the door.

Koushi was in the front seat of a banged-up-looking range rover convertible, waiting anxiously for him to join him. When Daichi hopped into the passengers seat he didn't even wait a second before speeding off, creating dust clouds behind them. Daichi watched as the man running out of the store and shouting angrily at them was just a tiny dot on the horizon before turning to Koushi, a large grin spread across his face.

"Kou _oh my god_ we did it! You should have seen me I actually trash talked a guy like twice my size and he punched me in the mouth but I don't even feel it anymore because of the adrenaline rush, oh my god and—what?" he paused in the middle of his gushing as he noticed his husband staring at him with an awestruck face when he really should have been watching the road.

"Nothing, it's just...wow, Dai, I had no idea you were capable of doing something so reckless. You were amazing in there!"

Daichi grinned, a steady blush growing across his cheeks. "Nah, that was nothing compared to you! How did you manage to hot-wire a range rover in less than five minutes, as well as—oh my god, _the body—_ "

"Don't worry." Koushi smiled reassuringly. "I transferred it as well as our bags into the trunk before I started the engine."

"God, I love you," Daichi sighed in relief, and Koushi actually looked surprise at this statement, as though Daichi hadn't said those words in a very long time. He guessed he hadn't.

"I love you too," he breathed. Then he and pressed one of the buttons on the dash. The car around them shifted and the roof began to slide back, converting the car into an open-top.

"That's more like it," he grinned, leaving one hand on the wheel as he leaned over the side of the vehicle, raising an arm to punch the air as he gave a great whoop, cheering as he wind carried the noise away. Daichi threw his head back and laughed, as though they were teenagers on their first post-high school road trip and not actual criminals. He chose to forget about that. For now, they were in college, and Koushi was the pretty boy whom he wouldn't pluck up the courage to ask out until senior year, and their biggest problem was passing finals and disapproving parents.

He chose to live in that moment.

 

Koushi refused to take a nap and drove them the rest of the way. Once they got to Tokyo they checked in to a low key motel on the outskirts of the city. It was pretty grotesque but it was just a place to put up for a night or two instead of sleeping in the car with a corpse.

There, they slept for most of the day, conking out before either of their heads even hit the pillow.

Daichi woke up to the sound of Koushi talking on the phone. His other half was in the bathroom with the door open by just a crack, which allowed the light to stream in. He checked his phone for the time—8:42 pm. It was the only thing he was allowed used it for, as Koushi had taken out the sim card from the old flip phone and made him put it on aeroplane mode.

"I know, but why can't you just tell us? We've had such a long day and I swear if I didn't already have one corpse on my hands I'd be ready to kill again. I'm so tired Bokuto would you please just—"

In the silence, Daichi could just about make out a man's voice on the other end.

_I'm sorry man, but I can't just tell you. I mean you're my bro and everything but I have a lot of powerful enemies. How do I know you're not being held at gunpoint right now? Or that the wire isn't tapped?_

Koushi sighed frustratedly.

"Well what was the point of telling us to come all the way over here if you're not going to tell us where you are?"

_Relax, my guy. I'll send someone to meet you guys and make sure you're alone. Then they'll bring you to meet me. Sound good?_

 

When Koushi climbed back into bed Daichi enveloped him in his arms, and Koushi gladly accepted that, snuggling further into Daichi's chest and heaving a large sigh.

"What was that about?" he murmured in the darkness.

"Bokuto won't tell me his location, so he's sending someone to pick us up."

"You don't remember where they are from when you were in college?"

"Like I said," Koushi yawned. "The Fukurodani-Nekoma clan are powerful, dangerous people with a lot of powerful, dangerous enemies. Staying in one location for too long means trouble for them."

"I see."

"Daichi?"

"Hm?"

"You know you're missing a tooth on one side of your mouth?"

Daichi frowned. "I am?" he lifted a hand to his gum and sure enough, on the top row there was a large gap where his tooth used to be. "Oh. So I am. I guess that punch really took effect on me."

He felt Koushi smile against his chest. "Don't worry, it's only visible when you smile."

"I'll make sure not to do that then."

The room was silent for a moment, and then a thought occurred to him. "Wait...if I'm missing a tooth...then where did it go?"

Koushi frowned. "Do you not remember it getting knocked out."

"No, it's just, I made sure not to spit anything out, so that means..." it dawned on him in horror. "Oh god does that mean I _swallowed it?_ "

There was a beat of silence, and then Koushi burst into a fit of giggles.

 

They didn't get to sleep again before it was time to get up and ready, and then there was a knock on the motel room door. Daichi gulped as Suga went to open it. He expected a large, thug-ish looking man covered head to toe in tattoos, but instead, when the door swung open, they were faced with a guy that looked about 19 years old, tops. He was short and had chin-length blonde hair with about four inches of roots grown in. He sighed, scanning both of their faces, as though he was analysing both of them.

"Suga and Daichi?"

"Y-yes," Daichi stammered, coming to stand beside his husband at the door. "Who are you?"

"Kenma from Nekoma. Bokuto sent me. You alone?"

"Yes?" Koushi answered as Kenma brushed by him and sat on their bed.

"So here's the deal," Kenma began, pulling out a phone from his hoodie pocket and beginning to tap at the screen. "I want ¥35,000. Up front. Then I'll bring you to our location."

"What?" Koushi spat. "No way in hell do you expect us to pay you!"

"Fine," Kenma shrugged, eyes still trained on his device. "Then you'll have to find the clan some other way."

"We'll just get Bokuto to send somebody else then!" Daichi argued.

"Feel free to. The next person will probably ask for more than me." Kenma stood up, pocketing his phone. "I'll be at the Tokyo Tower at midnight tonight. If you show with the money, I'll bring you to the clan. If not, you can find your own way. My advice is, take the deal."

And with that he left, closing the door behind him.

Koushi turned to him exasperatedly. "Well that couldn't have gone worse."

"How are we gonna get the money?" Daichi was beginning to panic. "We can't use our credit cards and I have maybe like two thousand yen in my wallet right now. Tops."

"Same." Koushi ran a hand over his face. "Okay, I have an idea, but you have to promise not to freak."

Daichi got that nervous feeling again. The one he got when he knew Koushi was up to no good.

"What?"

"We might have to steal the money."

" _What?_ "

"Well at this point, why not! We're on the run, we have little to no money in our pockets—why not rob a place?"

"Oh my god," Daichi realised. "You're crazy. You're literally a crazy person. That's why you're like this."

Koushi shoved him good-naturedly. "One convenience store. I promise. I'll even do all the work—all you have to do is be the getaway driver."

"We don't have any weapons though!" Daichi protested.

Koushi's eyes twinkled as he zipped his jacket open half way, shoving his hand in and pointing his fingers so that it looked as though he was concealing a gun.

"Who says we need a weapon?"

 

Daichi couldn't believe he'd allowed himself to be talked into this. He was seated in the driver's seat of the car as Koushi hopped out, wearing a black beanie over his head with two eye holes cut out of it. Daichi was wearing one to match, just in case anyone spotted him, and he'd made the risky decision of temporarily taping over the regd. plate with duct tape.

He watched as his husband stormed confidently into the small convenience store. He couldn't see much through the glass windows, but he noticed that people were backing away from him as he shouted through the mask, and getting to the floor. Koushi kept his finger pointed firmly at the poor girl at the till, who was shaking as she emptied the contents of the cash register into Koushi's backpack. No one tried anything. No police showed up. Everything actually went pretty smoothly.

 _Wow_ , Daichi thought as Koushi hopped back into the car with his now-full backpack and they sped off as fast as they couldn't without drawing attention to themselves. _Being a criminal is **easy**_.

They parked in an alleyway to rip the duct tape off the regd. plates and count the money.

"Let's see..." Koushi murmured in deep concentration as he counted the notes. "That's ¥32,000, and if we can take the rest from our own wallets. That'll make ¥35,000. We did it!"

Daichi leaned forward and kissed him in victory. Koushi answered with a hum, forgetting about the money completely.

"You know, Daichi, I was worried about us. But if we can make it through this we can make it through everything."

The victory didn’t last very long. In the corner of his eye, Daichi saw a black car roll up outside the alleyway. As though in slow motion he saw the window roll down, and a handgun slide through the gap.

" _GET DOWN!_ " he yelled, and they both ducked just in time for bullets to begin shattering the glass windows of the car. They both slid down to the floor in cramped positions and waited for the attackers to stop shooting.

Eventually the bullets ran out, and they stayed down even a few moment after it had gone quiet breathing heavily.

"Are you hurt?" Koushi whispered.

"Don't think so. You?"

"Nope."

"Good," Daichi said, finally sitting up, rage coursing through his veins. "Because we're going to follow them.

By speeding and skipping a few traffic lights they just about managed to catch up with the black car, which had gotten caught behind some road collision. Upon noticing the range rover behind it, the car began to take some twist and turns down dark, unfamiliar roads and alleys, trying to lose them. Eventually it pulled up in front of some old warehouse, and several men hopped out, sprinting for shelter as they pulled up. As Daichi and Koushi stepped out of the car there was another man who had been left to unload bags from the trunk of the car. Upon seeing them coming towards him he began to run but Daichi pursued him, throwing his weight on the man and knocking him to the ground. As the man struggled underneath him, Koushi crouched beside him and thumped him on the head with full force, causing him to knock hid head off the gravel and fall unconscious.

Without even needing to discuss it, they packed him into the trunk of the range rover along with the body, and drove him back to the motel. The underpaid creepy man at the front desk didn't even spare them a glance when they hauled an unconscious man across the lobby.

They tied him to a chair and checked him for weapons, throwing his loaded handgun onto the bed—the same one that had shot at them earlier.

"So..." Koushi said, once they had sat back down on the bed to wait for their hostage to regain consciousness. "What do you plan on doing when he wakes up?"

"I'm going to ask him some questions," Daichi replied calmly. "I'm sick of this shit, and I want answers."

"Oh," Koushi said. "Okay."

Finally, about twenty minutes later, the man stirred. Koushi got up and crouched to his level. "You're awake. Good. Now tell us, who are you working for and why do they want us dead?"

The man blinked at him, then he grinned a big yellow-stained smile that shook Daichi to his core. "Eat shit."

Suga blanched, clearly taken aback, and frowned. He opened his mouth to say something but Daichi intersected before he got the chance.

"Listen," he grabbed the man's gun from the bed and clicked the safety off, holding it up at him. "I have been through hell in the past 24 hours. Everything I thought I knew about my husband is wrong. I have stolen, I have kidnapped, I have _murdered_ , and if you think I'm not willing to get more blood on my hands then you're wrong."

"Daichi..." he thought he heard Koushi say faintly behind him, but he paid no attention.

The man in the chair stared at him, then right at the gun.

"Go ahead. Shoot me. ¥1000 says you're bluffing."

Daichi growled, frustration welling up inside of him. He punched the man in the face twice, once in the mouth and the other on the nose—his knuckled burned with pain but it was the pleasant, adrenaline-filled kind. Then, even more determined than before, he pressed the gun right against the man's forehead.

" _Tell. Us. Who. You. Work. For,_ " he said through gritted teeth.

Koushi gasped quietly behind him. He didn't care. He was tired. He was so tired of all of this unfortunate shit. All he wanted to do was curl up in bed with Koushi and forget any of this ever happened. The hostage winced.

"Alright, alright. Chill. I work for a man named Nakamura. He's the leader of our gang. He said the car you were in was the same car that was stolen from him. By you. So when he spotted you driving it in the city he ordered us to follow you and kill you. That's all I know, I swear."

"That's what this is about?" Koushi sounded incredibly stressed. "A fucking _car_?"

The man shrugged, blood trickling from his nose and lip. "Hey, you don't mess with the boss man. So are you going to kill me or not?"

"Not." Daichi said. "But when you wake up, go and tell Nakamura he can have his ugly fucking car when we're done with it. Or shove it up his ass. We couldn't care less. But if he tries to come near either of us again I won't hesitate to track you all down and shoot every last one of you."

"Big words," The man said, but then nodded. "Wait—what do you mean ' _when I wake up_ '—"

Daichi knocked him on the head with the grip of the gun, rendering him unconscious. There was silence in the room until Koushi spoke up.

"How much time until we have to meet Kenma at Tokyo Tower?"

Daichi checked his watch. "30 minutes."

"Okay," Koushi said breathlessly, surging towards him and pressing their lips together. It wasn't sweet this time—oh no, it was more urgent, more rushed. Daichi felt a sort of primal instinct take over as he backed Koushi against the wall.

"I have never been more attracted to you than I am right now," Koushi muttered against his lips, brows furrowed as Daichi left a trail of kisses down his face, nipping at his neck.

"Like seriously, that thing you did where you punched him in the face and then put the gun to his head—I think I actually popped a boner."

Daichi laughed against his throat. "Shut up, you dork. Do you seriously have a kink for stupid dangerous shit?"

"I have a kink for Bad Boy Daichi." He lifted his arms as Daichi pulled his shirt over his head, then did the same for himself. He could feel Koushi's erection pressed hard against his thigh and it made the blood rush from his head to his crotch, leaving him dazed. He ground against it, pulling a whimper from his husband and making him shudder.

"Kou I swear to god if we weren't pressed for time right now I would do you right here, in front of the unconscious hostage we just took."

Koushi keened. "Oh yeah? What would you do to me?"

Sure, it had been a long time. But boy, if this didn't bring Daichi back to his college days then he didn't know what would.

He bit down on Koushi's collarbone, drawing a whine from him. "You know I'd have you face down on the mattress, screaming my name so loudly your voice went hoarse."

" _God_ , Daichi," Koushi hissed. "Do something now before this asshole wakes up."

Daichi obliged, going straight for Koushi's jeans and pulling both of their cocks out, spitting on one hand to allow some friction. Koushi threw his head back against the wall at the pressure.

"God...I wish we had more time, Dai. Then I could get down on my knees, just how you like it, and suck you off until your knees gave out."

"Hmm." Daichi rested his head on Koushi's neck, as he pumped both of them together with one hand. "What about you, hm? Would you want to bury your face into the sheets while I eat you out?"

" _Yes,_ ” Koushi panted.

"How long has it been since I had my tongue in your ass?"

"Too long, _god_ , too long— _hah!_ " He let out a particularly loud whimper as Daichi gave a hard squeeze to his flushed cock. "Daichi...when all of this is over, I am so going to tie you down and sit on your dick. It'll be slow and you're gonna be crying by the end, begging me to ride you hard. And I'll wait until you're about to come, and then I'll fuck your brains out."

"Fuck, Koushi, who gave you such a filthy mouth?"

His husband grinned devilishly. "But you like my filthy mouth, don't you? You love how pretty my lips look wrapped around your cock. How my face looks with your cum all over it. How—"

Daichi came with a muffled moan and a large tooth mark in Koushi's shoulder. He caught his breath for a second, not forgetting about Koushi who was still desperately grinding into his hand, and talking him through his orgasm.

"You talk like you don't love having me come on your face, like you don't get on your knees and _beg for it—_ "

That was enough.

Daichi was sure glad he'd knocked their hostage out cold, because Koushi was a screamer.

They took a few moments to collect themselves, then a few more to stay like that for a while, kissing tenderly as though they were newly-weds, or were just after experiencing their first time again. Finally,

"It's been a while," Daichi said softly.

"It sure has." Koushi kissed him softly and smiled up at him.

"You know, I plan to take you up on every single thing you just mentioned."

"What, did you think I was bluffing?" Koushi smirked and pulled away from him, much to his dismay. "Come on, we need to get cleaned up. We're supposed to meet Kenma in less than fifteen minutes."

They left the motel room empty apart from the unconscious man, untying him and leaving him on the bed before checking out. When they reached Tokyo tower by midnight, it was bustling with tourists, but it wasn't hard to spot the small blonde waiting in front.

"You made the right decision, coming," he said once he spotted the couple.

"Yeah yeah," Koushi muttered, shoving the bag of money into Kenma's chest. "It's all there."

"Hey, what did you need it for, anyway?" Daichi asked out of curiosity as Kenma peered into the bag.

"New nintendo console," the Yakuza member stated simply. "Alright, I'll bring you to the family then, I guess."

 

 

Daichi's first impression of Bokuto was that he was loud. No wait—scratch that. His first impression had been that he was _intimidating_. When they'd both been pushed into his room, they were faced with a group of men and women with tattoos and muscles playing cards at a kotatsu. When he spotted them, one of the men gestured for the others to leave, and stood to face them. He was tall and broad with bulging arms, and nearly every piece of skin from the neck down was covered in intricate, swirling tattoos. His hair was an odd black and white combination that literally stuck upwards, and he had two lazy, golden eyes. His mouth was turned downwards into a frown as he studied them both, and Daichi was sure they were goners.

Then, his face broke out into a large grin.

"Hey hey hey! Suga man, long time no see!" He embraced Koushi in a hug which his husband gladly accepted.

"It's been a while, hasn't it," he grinned at the Yakuza member.

Bokuto continued to smile wildly with those owlish eyes. "Dude you look _old_."

" _Oi!_ " Koushi smacked his arm, then gestured to him. "This is Daichi, my husband."

"Ah, the culprit himself." Bokuto grinned, firmly shaking Daichi's hand in a grip that hurt. "I heard you killed the guy that broke into your place and can I just say, nice."

"Speaking of, the body's kind of still in the trunk, and—"

Bokuto held up a hand. "Say no more dude. _YACCHAN!_ "

The door burst open at his yell and the tiniest blonde Daichi had ever seen scurried in, bowing before Bokuto. "Y-yes sir?"

"There's a range rover out front with a body in the trunk. Will you go dispose of it? You know the drill."

"Yes sir!" she barked, wasting no time before practically sprinting out again.

"Yachi's one of our best at that kind of stuff. Give her a few hours and she can erase a person's entire existence. It's magical really."

They sat at the kotatsu for an hour or so, sipping tea and telling Bokuto the whole story of their journey to meet him (bar the part where they'd had aggressive sex with an unconscious hostage in the room). For the most part, he seemed incredibly impressed.

"Wow, for a suburban couple that sounded pretty badass. Daichi, you sure you're not secretly an ex-member?"

Daichi chuckled. "An ex-member of my old job, maybe. There's no way I can go back after this."

As much as he joked about it, he knew deep in his heart it was true. After the events of the past 24 hours, he couldn't imagine himself ever going back to his old life. It was going to be difficult.

"Well hey." Bokuto sipped at his tea nonchalantly. "You guys are welcome to stay here for as long as you want. I mean as much as you tried not to leave a trace the cops are still gonna 100% be after you, so it might be smart to stay in our protection until everything blows over. I trust you guys—well maybe not you, Daichi, but I trust you, Suga. And if your husband tries anything I can always kill him," he said casually, taking another sip of his tea.

Daichi processed the information for a moment. Koushi's eyes met his. They had that twinkle in them, the one he'd only started seeing since their adventure began. The one he'd never said while at home. His brain and every logic he had screamed against it but deep in his heart he knew the answer. Suga heard this loud and clear through his eyes, giving a curt nod and a smile to Bokuto.

"If you don't mind, I think we'd like that very much."

"Great." The yakuza member stood up, clapping his hands together. "Then welcome to the family."

 

**Author's Note:**

> #MURDERCOUPLEDAISUGA2K16


End file.
